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Sometimes cutting, sometimes anarchic, gay humor at its best is life-enhancing. The characteristic gay sense of humor is another bulwark against loneliness and chronic grief. Investing in such families counteracts loneliness, and it replaces grief with a fresh sense of human possibilities. Building families connected with love “effectively counteracts the alienation of homophobia,” in one writer’s eloquent phrase. Chosen family members are those to whom the gay person feels emotionally close. This is necessary particularly for men rejected by or estranged from their family of origin. Many have a “chosen” family rather a biological one. While most gay men are unmarried, they usually live in a network of other relationships, which form a stable social structure. Relationships with the younger generations can be deeply rewarding. Individual experiences vary, of course, but many gay men have good relationships with their children and, in turn, with their grandchildren. Exact percentages are not available, but the current estimate is from 35 to 60 percent. However, It’s unlikely that such relationships satisfy many gay spouses.Ī surprising number of gay men have children. More than a third of gay men over 50 have been in heterosexual marriages, and a few remain married. Will this enhance the chances that life will be more satisfying in the sexual area life? With too little data, it’s too early to tell. The option for gay men to marry is new, and far from universal. Compared to them, many more gays (an estimated 40–60 percent) are single. Some have given up completely, prey to the overwhelming sadness of too many emotional losses, too many occasions of grief.įor straight men, the best bulwark against loneliness is marriage. For some the emotional landscape is so bleak that their attitude is “wistful yearning,” in the words of one writer. More than half of gay men over 50 at times complain of loneliness.
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